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Bird-Brain Real Estate Agency - Week 2

3/30/2014

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Just in time for the return of our feathered friends, we are offering an exceptional array of affordable, quality homes to fit the nesting needs of this season’s starter families.

This week's tongue-in-beak listings: Purple Martins

Attention Purple Martin Scouts! On your early spring flyover, please stop and check out community living at its finest! We have 8-plex and 12-plex condominium buildings. Common area amenities include a television antenna repurposed into an outdoor clubhouse perch that also provides excellent television reception with a wide range of stations available.
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Sparrow squatters have been evicted and these refurbished units are move-in ready!
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Desire more privacy than a condominium offers? Take a look at our single-family units. These eco-friendly homes are constructed of high-quality dried gourds and come furnished with all-natural materials. Interiors have spacious open floor plans with soaring cathedral ceilings.
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Spacious open floor plan and all-natural furnishings
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Soaring cathedral ceiling

Rural European Flavor – We offer a unique experience for purple martins who truly embrace rural life: Living directly over the cattle, similar to house-barns in Europe where the family lives in the upper story of the barn and livestock occupy the ground floor. Access to above-ground heated pool. Breathe in the “essence” of life on the farm!
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Next in Series - Week 3 Tongue-In-Beak Listings: Wrens

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Bird-Brain Real Estate Agency - Week 1

3/22/2014

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Just in time for the return of our feathered friends, we are offering an exceptional array of affordable, quality homes to fit the nesting needs of this season’s starter families.

This week's tongue-in-beak listings: Bluebirds

Out in the Boondocks – Authentic log cabin home with thick bark siding and sturdy perches. Flat roof provides take-off and landing strip access. A durable home for the ages. Built to last!
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Feather your nest in this “shabby chic” home with natural wood siding. The whole family can enjoy glorious Kansas sunrises from the roomy deck on the back. Large above-ground heated pool is only a short flight away. This little “home tweet home” won’t last long—we’ve already had lookers!
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This rustic home constructed from old red barn boards comes with established flower gardens and gardeners in residence. Magnificent blooms from spring through early fall: iris, clematis, peonies, daylilies and zinnias. Flying insects provide a convenient and unlimited food supply.
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Handyman Delight! Pound a few nails into this fixer-upper and you’re ready to move in. Enjoy a fabulous view of brilliant Kansas sunsets.
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Enjoy a panoramic view of the countryside from either the rooftop or post-top observatory of this sunny yellow charmer! Baling wire secures house to post to provide extra stability in the strongest Kansas winds. Extended entryway has short take-off and landing area. Interior painted to match exterior. Lower terrace opening and baseboard vents let in wonderfully fresh country air. Unfurnished and move-in ready!
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Yellow interior matches exterior. Baseboard vent lets in fresh country air!
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Scenic view from post-top observatory.


Next in Series - Week 2 Tongue-In-Beak Listings: Purple Martins

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Rites of Spring

3/16/2014

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Finally, after one of the severest winters in recent history, we're seeing signs of spring! However, we are having a little winter relapse today, but forecasters promise a return to spring-like temps the rest of the week. We've started some of our early spring activities on the farm.

“Little Plastic House”

Bill constructed his "little plastic house,” which is a miniature temporary greenhouse, made out of 4 pieces of heavy wire shoved into the ground to form an arch and covered with thick plastic mended with duct tape. The four sides of the plastic are anchored in the ground by wrapping 2x2 boards in the ends and covering with dirt. A slit is cut in the plastic to allow watering and prevent condensation. Bill planted lettuce, spinach and Swiss chard. We should be enjoying tasty salads and chard by early to mid-April.
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Flowerbed Pyrotechnics

Bill torches the iris bed in early spring to control iris leaf spot, a fungal disease that over-winters on the dead leaves. Burning kills the spores. Burning also kills iris borer, a destructive insect that over-winters in its larvae, or “worm” stage, in the rhizome above ground. Goodbye disease and pestilence; hello gorgeous iris! 
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Bill will burn our native grass pasture in mid-April. More on this pyrotechnic task later and with pictures!

Mole Patrol

One of Cricket’s favorite spring activities is “mole patrol.” Her keen ears hear the underground activities of these yard-wrecking rodents. She frantically digs in hot pursuit of the mole, while the mole is also frantically digging to escape the jaws of death. If the mole goes too deep, Cricket loses the trail.
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"Darn! I'll get you next time, you little varmint!"


Tulips, daffodils and hyacinth are up!

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The cattle are eagerly anticipating the arrival of spring and luscious, green grass to graze.

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More "Rites of Spring" will follow!

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June’s Jellyroll Jaunt—Loading and Transporting

3/2/2014

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Finally...let's get those jellyrolls home!

When I posted Catering Jellyrolls on Jan. 22nd, I promised the conclusion would be "Next up." Well, stuff happened and "Next up" got postponed by the Insane Propane Drain, Snowmaggedon, a style review featuring my frigid weather wardrobe, a wonderful Valentine's Day present from Bill and the birth of our only "spring" calf. This weekend brought more snow and frigid temperatures. I'm ready for spring and warmer weather. Since that may not happen for awhile yet, let's go back to last summer and finish what I started earlier...

Last summer when the time came to load and haul the round bales home, I was offered the opportunity (read drafted) to add another task to my Certified Farm Hand (CFH) designation. But we didn’t use the regular hay trailer; we used one specifically designed to haul these gigantic brome jellyrolls. However, this task still required that I drive the flatbed farm truck because the bale hauler has a gooseneck hitch. There’s always an adventure afoot when I get behind the wheel of the farm truck!

The loading process for big round bales is different than the process for small squares due to the size of the round bales: 1,150 pounds versus about 80. Bucking bales with a hay hook isn’t an option! This operation requires a tractor with a bale fork. The loading logistics are also different: Instead of driving both the tractor and the truck pulling the hauler from one bale to the next, loading one at a time, the bales are pre-arranged in lines of seven, the hauler capacity, then loaded all at once in one location. This eliminates driving two gas hogs the full distance, stopping and starting at each bale. Considering the bales are usually anywhere from 50 to 100 yards apart, this method is much more efficient in terms of time and fuel usage.

Here’s what a round bale hauler looks like from the side and looking down from my position astraddle the horizontal bar of the gooseneck hitch (and trying not to fall off!):
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The plan: Bill would drive the John Deere tractor to the hay field, two miles away, and arrange the bales. When he was almost finished, he would call me to bring over the bale hauler.

When the call came, Cricket and I jumped in the truck and took off for the field. I knew maneuvering this rig through the gate into the field would require finesse to not take out the gate posts or turn at too sharp an angle, putting excessive torque on the sacred gooseneck hitch. (Sacred? At $4,000 a pop, you betcha!) I pondered the situation during the two-mile trip and came up with a plan: Start my wide turn early and aim for the gate at an angle, not straight on. The plan worked well. My right side mirror cleared the gate post by about one-half inch, but the left rear wheel of the trailer dropped off into the ditch which, luckily, was shallow. Pretty successful, I’d say.

We headed for the first line of bales. Bill arranged each line with a gap in the middle big enough for me to drive through and park. He speared the first bale and loaded it on the hauler. He speared the second bale and used it to push the first bale forward on the hauler until the second bale was loaded. He repeated this process until seven bales were on board.
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One more bale and we're ready to go unload.
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Bill shut off the tractor and climbed down from the cab. Because we were hauling several loads from the field to our place, he didn’t want to drive the tractor back and forth each trip. But wait…doesn’t he need the tractor to unload the bales at home, you ask? This is the cool part!

We arrived home and Bill parked where he wanted to unload bales. I moved into position with my camera, he grabbed a lever on the side of the hauler, pulled it out at a 90 degree angle, then pushed it up.
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Wait for it…
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Oops! Waited too long! That’s how it works but it wasn’t the shot I wanted.

We went back to the field, repeated the loading process and returned home. Positions, everybody! OK, Bill, let ‘er rip!
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Wow! There’s the shot I wanted—the bales are about a foot off the ground! Isn’t that cool? Now, back to the field for another load.

After the last bales were on the trailer, we headed for home. This trip, Bill drove the tractor which left me (Yikes) to drive the truck and loaded bale hauler. To protect truck side mirrors, gate posts, hauler wheel axles, sacred gooseneck hitch and our marriage, Bill drove the load out of the field and onto the road. We convoyed home with me in the lead. I don’t know which made me more nervous: driving the rig, or knowing Bill was behind me and would see and have plenty to say about any near-misses or flat-out collisions! We made it home unscathed and Bill even complimented me on my driving. Kudos to June, the Jellyroll Hauler!

From the field to the table…Bon Appetit! 

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Some of the heifers prefer the small square bales Bill serves in a former stock water tank that sprung leaks, now repurposed into a nifty serving bowl. Somebody with her front legs in the tank prefers to eat out of the middle instead of along the side!
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